Justin Bieber sidelined? A boy can dream, can’t he?
Cheers to a brand-new year and hopefully a good year of music. 2012 wasn’t disappointing at all, at least when referring to music. When you look at it nationally, rock music was at the forefront for 2012. Locally, country music killed again; sell-out show after sell-out show, Augusta is setting itself up as a main stop for country artists’ tours.
2013 will bring some of the biggest acts in country to the James Brown Arena: Carrie Underwood, Brantley Gilbert and Little Big Town, just to name a few. I am in no way a fan of country music, but I don’t speak for Augusta. Hey, if it brings in people, business, attention and revenue to our city, I’m all about it. So for you country music folk, yee haw, enjoy your shows. I’ll make sure to alert the local grocery stores to stock up on tobacco, Budweiser, and Slim Jims. Rednecks like Slim Jims right?
For me, I can only hope 2013 is a big year for rock music. That’s why I put together a wish list for the upcoming 12 months. You could call them dreams. Some could happen, most will not, but that’s why they are my dreams.
First and most of all, I want a major rock show in Augusta and people to actually show up. I want a band that sells out around the world to come in and destroy the James Brown Arena. Dream bands for this request include the Black Keys, Muse, Pearl Jam, Kings of Leon and Ace of Base.
Next up on my list of dreams for 2013, Justin Bieber gets in a traumatic car accident that leaves him unable to speak. Another side effect is that he has to act white. He will then admit that he is bi-curious and form a long-distance relationship with one of the Jonas brothers to be named later.
On a real request, I want new music from the Kings of Leon that sounds like their old music. I would also like them to be adults. Drink and do all the drugs you like, but be able to perform. I think it was originally part of your job.
This next dream is not selfish at all; this is a real thing that would benefit the entire world. I dream that mysteriously all copies of Creed and Nickelback music, digital included, disappear. This will eliminate the chances of your ears being raped by them. I think 2013 should also bring us some justice. For this, I hope Rihanna beats the hell out of Chris Brown and cuts off one his legs. That way he can’t distract from inability to sing by running around and dancing on the stage.
For all of our sanity, I would like Myspace to return as the leader of social media in 2013. I know, you think I’m crazier than ever, but let’s face it: Facebook sucks. Myspace is now a place for music and entertainment, which sounds much better that the life of spam over at Facebook. You think Tom will accept my friend request?
Last, but not least, John Mayer, Joe Jonas, Taylor Lautner and Jake Gyllenhaal should all collaborate and write a song about Taylor Swift. The guys explain that they were never “Mean.” She just happens to be a psychopath who smells like burnt old Doritos.
If all of these things come true, my year will be complete.
Well on the bright side, there is a new show to announce. Thanks to Steve Hall Productions, Augusta can welcome P.O.D. with special guest Nonpoint and Within Reason, March 13 at the Country Club. Tickets are only $18 in advance. Hey, they even rock for Jesus. I wonder if we can get some of those good ole Baptists into a place that serves alcohol. That might be another dream for 2013.
What shows do you want to see in Augusta? What’s the best place to see live music? Do you think my tractor’s sexy? Email me at email@example.com. You Might Also Like: