15 in 5
Because I love a list. Especially a random list.
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- You people have been crazy with these elves. Our Elf sits on a shelf. After he went to the North Pole each night, he moved to another shelf. The Kids loved looking for him. He didn’t spend any of Santa’s hard-earned money making his visits more special than they already were. He did land in a container of candy corn the first night he was here. I didn’t mind that he ruined it. I was about to throw it away anyway.
- That being said, my kids would be so jealous if they saw how much more your elves must love your children. This is one of the many reasons they’ll stay far, far away from Facebook.
- Santa brings the best gifts of the year. “Santa’s so awesome! He brought me this!” As a parent, birthdays are more fun because I get the credit for the good presents. Admit it, you feel the same way.
- We are still having problems with our mail. Last week, four days passed without a single piece of mail. That’s uncommon for most people on most days. During Christmas card season, it’s practically unheard of. I called and filed a complaint. I got another case number. I was fed empty promises about returned calls and immediate action.
- I told the supervisor that I was a little concerned about filing a complaint. These people know where I live. Now that I think about it, I guess they don’t, or we wouldn’t be having this problem. She assured me that I needn’t worry about any retaliation. Um, pardon me, but the term “going postal” didn’t come from a disgruntled barista.
- After many calls and being transferred around, hung up on and dismissed as a crazy lady, a supervisor told me that I needed to get in touch with some consumer affairs action committee. Oh good! Some help! And then she told me how to reach them. By mail. I wish that was a lie. She said I needed to mail them a letter, and within 30 days, they’d reply to my letter. By mail. Huh? Lady, didn’t I just tell you that my mail isn’t working? Why would I use a broken something to fix a broken something. That’s like feeding me rancid meat which makes me violently ill, only to feed it to me again, saying, “We think that we might’ve maybe possibly fixed the rancid meat problem. We hope that you possibly maybe might not get sick this time.” No thanks.
- I got a call from the nice lady at the 8th Street Post Office. She said my carrier found a package of mine. When asked where it’d been, she said, “Well, we don’t know that, but she’s got it.” About an hour later, a very humbled mail woman stood on my front porch holding two packages, about 25 Christmas cards, five pieces of someone else’s mail, one piece of another person’s mail, a few bills and a couple of magazines. Call me crazy, but that seems like about four days’ worth of mail.
- If the Post Office was a business, instead of a government agency, I’d have gotten a refund, some free stamps or at the very least a coupon for my next visit. No such luck.
- Moving on. Since last week, my mantra has been, “At least we are healthy and alive.” I suppose that I should always think like that, but tragedy usually shoves it in our face.
- I had four kids (two are mine, two are friends’) here all day last week. It was the first day of Christmas break and we had sun and 70 degrees. Not bad. With the exception of the obligatory showing of “Christmas Vacation,” they were outside all day.
- This was the first year I had someone else take my Christmas card picture. I usually enjoy doing it and even help friends get their perfect photo. I totally understand why y’all hire someone to help. (Thanks to Branch Carter for capturing my kids so well!)
- Speaking of holiday cards, is that really the best picture of your two kids from the entire last year? I don’t mean to be ugly, but is it that you felt pressure to have a picture in the silly matching outfits in front of the tree, no matter how awkward the photo is?
- I do love getting the cards, though. That’s why the mail dilemma was so frustrating. I knew what I was missing, and I started to wonder if some of my address list regulars had given me the boot this year.
- Whatever you celebrate this time of year, enjoy it with your family. Stop worrying whether the turkey will be burned or not (cause mine was on Thanksgiving and we survived), if you bought expensive enough gifts, or if she is five minutes late to dinner. Just be glad she made it at all.
- I hope you had the happiest of Christmases. Tis the season, right? If you don’t celebrate, please tell me that you at least enjoyed the extra-long weekend. Cheers!