Copenhaver Awakes from Coma

Don’t look now, but I think we may have discovered a way to light a fire under Deke Copenhaver’s fanny without having to invoke the name Ripken.

I don’t want to infer that the good mayor has been too quiet and still on the topic of the yet to be ratified TEE Center management agreement, but rumor has it Coroner Grover Tuten has been called to check on him three times. All that seemed to change Tuesday, when this email was shot out to all commissioners like a flare against a midnight sky.  

Gentlemen,

The news of the decision by the Georgia Association of Chiefs of Police to cancel their convention here in Augusta is now being reported in the Rome News Tribune, the Atlanta Journal Constitution, WSAV in Savannah, WSB TV in Atlanta, WRCB in Chattanooga and other media outlets throughout the southeast. Due to this fact as well as the fact that there are several commissioners who are ready to vote to approve the operating agreement, I believe that a work session will only continue to bring negative regional media attention to Augusta while at the same time further negatively impacting our ability to ensure the long-term success of the facility. Basically, we are now in damage control mode and I would highly recommend that those parties who still have questions or concerns meet with the management group or their representatives directly as soon as possible as it is imperative that we get an agreement in place in order to not put future bookings at risk.

I heard this morning that our downtown business owners are extremely upset with the situation as it stands due to the loss in revenues that they will incur due to our losing our first major booking and I’m hopeful that their concerns will be heard and that we can come to a resolution on this.

Thanks,

Deke  

Oh… the situation has your attention now, Your Honor? On behalf of thousands of area residents who have been watching this abortion play out in slow motion for the last six months, thanks a pantload.

At least now we know how to stir Bruce Jenner Jr., and get his attention if we want him to wake up and get to work on an issue: Embarrass him in the printed pages and TV news stories of out of town media!

I wish I had known it was so easy. Not only could we have had the TEE Center deal squared away long ago, I would have drafted my old buddy Lori Geary at WSB-TV in Atlanta to beat him up so hard on his lack of concern over the GRU debacle he would be forced to challenge Ricardo Azziz to pistols at 20 paces in front of the Municipal Building, just to save face.

I could get my former sportscasting partner Sam Crenshaw at WXIA-TV to profile Deke’s obsession with downtown baseball, despite being told no more than a fat freshman at a coed mixer.

Ooooh, I know: Johnny Edwards of the Atlanta Journal-Constitution could do an in-depth investigative story on whether the mayor’s tight bicycle pants has caused early onset of senility and chafing.



And then put in a call to Fraendy Clervaud at WACH-TV in Columbia to document the claims that the cold Savannah River water Deke has trained in for years is responsible for the permanent shrinkage of his… um… earlier aggressive nature.

If dragging out of town media in to tell the story of lackluster leadership in Augusta gets the good mayor’s attention, I will personally dig up every reporter who has ever spent time in the Garden City to spread the word from coast to coast. Charlie James has Charleston covered, Joe Mama will handle Brunswick. Lynnsey Gardner and Patty Holzschuh can double-team him in Jacksonville, and Trip Jennings will tell the story in New Mexico. We could even go global. Nita Wiggins could carry the tale to her media students in Paris, France.

All silliness aside, citizens should make no mistake as the details of the TEE Center agreement are finally worked out, and they will be soon, that 100 percent of the delay and lack of assertiveness on the city’s behalf rests squarely on the shoulders of Deke Copenhaver and his henchman, pardon, City Administrator Fred Russell.

The mayor has the bully pulpit; the city had the responsibility to set terms of its choosing and then dare Augusta Riverfront LLC to walk away.

Instead, they let the tail wag the dog, leaving the city embarrassed and belittled in press reports throughout the country.

But hey, at least now we know how to get Deke’s attention.
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