The Republicans seem dead-set on regressing to hatefully ignorant 1950s social rhetoric, they continue to paint gays as subhuman even as same-sex marriage is signed into law in several states, and their two strongest candidates are a corporate raider whose attempts at human facial expression result in an electrical failure of his Mormon circuits and an insane fundamentalist with an anal fixation because Jesus, or something.
Obama knows this is Christmas. His focus, then, should turn to figuring out not only how to strengthen and energize the liberal base over the next four years, but how to cement and bolster his legacy. And because I skim the New York Times every day while watching ESPN anchors come up with more, increasingly terrible Jeremy Lin puns, I’m qualified to offer some suggestions:
Get Behind Your Principles
Look, I think Obama is a good guy. I voted for him in 2008 and, unless a video of him emerges between now and November eating kittens-on-a-stick and listening to Justin Bieber (the other way around would be fine), I’m going to vote for him again this year. But when the heat is on, the man sometimes has a tendency to waffle.
When pressured by the Catholic Church regarding the law requiring religiously affiliated employers to provide free access to contraception, Obama folded a bit and allowed for a “conscience of religion” exception (which makes no sense because abortion is never mentioned in the Bible, anywhere, but I digress). In addition, he refuses to completely come out (no pun intended) in support of gay marriage, most likely as a bet-hedger against swing voters.
But swing voters will not cement a legacy. Making a stand on controversial issues — and, credit due, kudos for repealing DADT and for the healthcare bill — and not budging, even when your opponents resort to inflammatory rhetoric, well, that shows strength of character, and reinforces faith in this nation as one that not only welcomes diversity, but protects the rights of its downtrodden and disenfranchised.
Call ‘Em Like You See ‘Em
If you’re going to stand there and tell me that Obama sees Romney and Santorum as legitimate politicians — hell, as people to be taken seriously — then I’ve got a bridge to sell you (it’s made out of gold, and I promise the river below it isn’t teeming with mutated crocodiles). He and his campaign will turn it on once the general election starts, but it’s very telling that Obama has largely ignored the GOP proceedings thus far. Still, even when the general debates begin, you can bet he’ll be tempered, respectful and won’t resort to snide comments and jibes.
And he shouldn’t. It’s not his style. What he SHOULD do is not shy away from stating the blunt truth: if he’s up there against Romney, he should thank the Massachusetts governor, in a tone of voice just full enough of sincerity to not border on sarcasm, for inspiring his national healthcare bill. It’ll simultaneously bolster his own agenda while undermining Romney’s attempts to appeal to the far-right base.
If it’s Santorum (it won’t be), bring up the disconnect between his views of contraception and statistics, i.e. 98 percent of Catholic women either use or have used some form of birth control. And if Rush Limbaugh says anything else about Sandra Fluke, release a press statement calling him “a garbage bag full of emotional issues, bullshit and pork.”
Be polite, yes. But don’t be shy.
Keep Singing
Al Green? “Sweet Home Chicago?” Please and thank you. When politicians try to do this kind of thing, it usually backfires horribly and hilariously. When Al Gore danced at a 1990s Democratic function, it looked like several giant stalks of lemongrass were going through electroshock therapy. Likewise, when John Ashcroft and Mitt Romney sing, every cat on the planet loses a life.
But Obama’s got a pretty decent voice, and you get the impression that he truly loves what he’s singing, and not just courting the youth vote (I mean, it’s Al Green for one). In short, it’s totally endearing and, as long as he doesn’t try to court fringe voters by covering Cannibal Corpse or Devendra Banhart, he should have this in the bag.
You Might Also Like:
Looking Ahead: Obama 2.0
As you’re reading this, it’s a couple of days removed from Super Tuesday. As I’m writing this, Super Tuesday hasn’t happened yet, so based on the trajectory of the GOP primary season so far, I’m going to guess that one of two things happened: either A) Mitt Romney finally sewed up the inevitable and, going off of some tenets I assume are in the Book of Mormon, was finally allowed to wash his magic golden underwear, or B) Ron Paul had a remarkably strong showing, thereby further delaying an eventual Romney victory and seeing coverage of his campaign on major news networks double to 90 seconds per day. Also, he makes the cover of Newsweek, because why the hell not; we put Herman Cain on there for s**t’s sake.
Either way, this thing has to end soon (right? RIGHT?!). Accordingly, the focus will shift to the general election, and the Obama team will begin to batter the GOP nominee with the fury of a thousand hipster suns. And let’s face it: barring another terrorist attack — which isn’t going to happen, because Obama deals with terrorist masterminds by shooting them in the face and leaving them for dead in a pile of their own porn — or economic nosedive, this is going to be pretty one-sided in favor of the Democrats.
The Republicans seem dead-set on regressing to hatefully ignorant 1950s social rhetoric, they continue to paint gays as subhuman even as same-sex marriage is signed into law in several states, and their two strongest candidates are a corporate raider whose attempts at human facial expression result in an electrical failure of his Mormon circuits and an insane fundamentalist with an anal fixation because Jesus, or something.
Obama knows this is Christmas. His focus, then, should turn to figuring out not only how to strengthen and energize the liberal base over the next four years, but how to cement and bolster his legacy. And because I skim the New York Times every day while watching ESPN anchors come up with more, increasingly terrible Jeremy Lin puns, I’m qualified to offer some suggestions:
Get Behind Your Principles
Look, I think Obama is a good guy. I voted for him in 2008 and, unless a video of him emerges between now and November eating kittens-on-a-stick and listening to Justin Bieber (the other way around would be fine), I’m going to vote for him again this year. But when the heat is on, the man sometimes has a tendency to waffle.
When pressured by the Catholic Church regarding the law requiring religiously affiliated employers to provide free access to contraception, Obama folded a bit and allowed for a “conscience of religion” exception (which makes no sense because abortion is never mentioned in the Bible, anywhere, but I digress). In addition, he refuses to completely come out (no pun intended) in support of gay marriage, most likely as a bet-hedger against swing voters.
But swing voters will not cement a legacy. Making a stand on controversial issues — and, credit due, kudos for repealing DADT and for the healthcare bill — and not budging, even when your opponents resort to inflammatory rhetoric, well, that shows strength of character, and reinforces faith in this nation as one that not only welcomes diversity, but protects the rights of its downtrodden and disenfranchised.
Call ‘Em Like You See ‘Em
If you’re going to stand there and tell me that Obama sees Romney and Santorum as legitimate politicians — hell, as people to be taken seriously — then I’ve got a bridge to sell you (it’s made out of gold, and I promise the river below it isn’t teeming with mutated crocodiles). He and his campaign will turn it on once the general election starts, but it’s very telling that Obama has largely ignored the GOP proceedings thus far. Still, even when the general debates begin, you can bet he’ll be tempered, respectful and won’t resort to snide comments and jibes.
And he shouldn’t. It’s not his style. What he SHOULD do is not shy away from stating the blunt truth: if he’s up there against Romney, he should thank the Massachusetts governor, in a tone of voice just full enough of sincerity to not border on sarcasm, for inspiring his national healthcare bill. It’ll simultaneously bolster his own agenda while undermining Romney’s attempts to appeal to the far-right base.
If it’s Santorum (it won’t be), bring up the disconnect between his views of contraception and statistics, i.e. 98 percent of Catholic women either use or have used some form of birth control. And if Rush Limbaugh says anything else about Sandra Fluke, release a press statement calling him “a garbage bag full of emotional issues, bullshit and pork.”
Be polite, yes. But don’t be shy.
Keep Singing
Al Green? “Sweet Home Chicago?” Please and thank you. When politicians try to do this kind of thing, it usually backfires horribly and hilariously. When Al Gore danced at a 1990s Democratic function, it looked like several giant stalks of lemongrass were going through electroshock therapy. Likewise, when John Ashcroft and Mitt Romney sing, every cat on the planet loses a life.
But Obama’s got a pretty decent voice, and you get the impression that he truly loves what he’s singing, and not just courting the youth vote (I mean, it’s Al Green for one). In short, it’s totally endearing and, as long as he doesn’t try to court fringe voters by covering Cannibal Corpse or Devendra Banhart, he should have this in the bag.
You Might Also Like:
The Republicans seem dead-set on regressing to hatefully ignorant 1950s social rhetoric, they continue to paint gays as subhuman even as same-sex marriage is signed into law in several states, and their two strongest candidates are a corporate raider whose attempts at human facial expression result in an electrical failure of his Mormon circuits and an insane fundamentalist with an anal fixation because Jesus, or something.
Obama knows this is Christmas. His focus, then, should turn to figuring out not only how to strengthen and energize the liberal base over the next four years, but how to cement and bolster his legacy. And because I skim the New York Times every day while watching ESPN anchors come up with more, increasingly terrible Jeremy Lin puns, I’m qualified to offer some suggestions:
Get Behind Your Principles
Look, I think Obama is a good guy. I voted for him in 2008 and, unless a video of him emerges between now and November eating kittens-on-a-stick and listening to Justin Bieber (the other way around would be fine), I’m going to vote for him again this year. But when the heat is on, the man sometimes has a tendency to waffle.
When pressured by the Catholic Church regarding the law requiring religiously affiliated employers to provide free access to contraception, Obama folded a bit and allowed for a “conscience of religion” exception (which makes no sense because abortion is never mentioned in the Bible, anywhere, but I digress). In addition, he refuses to completely come out (no pun intended) in support of gay marriage, most likely as a bet-hedger against swing voters.
But swing voters will not cement a legacy. Making a stand on controversial issues — and, credit due, kudos for repealing DADT and for the healthcare bill — and not budging, even when your opponents resort to inflammatory rhetoric, well, that shows strength of character, and reinforces faith in this nation as one that not only welcomes diversity, but protects the rights of its downtrodden and disenfranchised.
Call ‘Em Like You See ‘Em
If you’re going to stand there and tell me that Obama sees Romney and Santorum as legitimate politicians — hell, as people to be taken seriously — then I’ve got a bridge to sell you (it’s made out of gold, and I promise the river below it isn’t teeming with mutated crocodiles). He and his campaign will turn it on once the general election starts, but it’s very telling that Obama has largely ignored the GOP proceedings thus far. Still, even when the general debates begin, you can bet he’ll be tempered, respectful and won’t resort to snide comments and jibes.
And he shouldn’t. It’s not his style. What he SHOULD do is not shy away from stating the blunt truth: if he’s up there against Romney, he should thank the Massachusetts governor, in a tone of voice just full enough of sincerity to not border on sarcasm, for inspiring his national healthcare bill. It’ll simultaneously bolster his own agenda while undermining Romney’s attempts to appeal to the far-right base.
If it’s Santorum (it won’t be), bring up the disconnect between his views of contraception and statistics, i.e. 98 percent of Catholic women either use or have used some form of birth control. And if Rush Limbaugh says anything else about Sandra Fluke, release a press statement calling him “a garbage bag full of emotional issues, bullshit and pork.”
Be polite, yes. But don’t be shy.
Keep Singing
Al Green? “Sweet Home Chicago?” Please and thank you. When politicians try to do this kind of thing, it usually backfires horribly and hilariously. When Al Gore danced at a 1990s Democratic function, it looked like several giant stalks of lemongrass were going through electroshock therapy. Likewise, when John Ashcroft and Mitt Romney sing, every cat on the planet loses a life.
But Obama’s got a pretty decent voice, and you get the impression that he truly loves what he’s singing, and not just courting the youth vote (I mean, it’s Al Green for one). In short, it’s totally endearing and, as long as he doesn’t try to court fringe voters by covering Cannibal Corpse or Devendra Banhart, he should have this in the bag.
You Might Also Like:
Posted in Ruffin' It