After two months, over a hundred applications and 45 job interviews, I am finally and gainfully employed. The two part-time bartending jobs I just landed should equal a full-time salary, or about $400-$600 a week, which may seem like small potatoes to most of you, but it’s a hell of a lot better than $0 a week.
Yeah, I get a check from the Metro Spirit every month — thanks, guys — but when it comes to paying rent, bills and planning a wedding, the amount I get is so negligible that the envelope they mail it in comes with a laugh track.
Anyway, now that I can afford it, this seems like a good time to talk about beer again.
One of the things that attracted me to the Soul Bar in the first place was its beer selection. When Jayson (Rubio) showed me around before my first shift, I was pretty taken with the selection of Rogue, Sierra Nevada, Samuel Smith and other solid microbrews. It’s the same reason I started working at the Craftsman Table & Tap here in Madison, and also why only two of my friends ever go drinking with me anymore.
So, in honor of my newfound employment, I figured I’d run down the eight best beers I’ve had since coming to the Madison area. There are only two caveats: it can’t be something that you guys can get, because the whole point of this column is to alternately infuriate and confound you, and I can’t pick more than one beer per company. If I could, I would just say “everything New Glarus makes” and wouldn’t get paid for this column. These are in no particular order, because that would be like trying to pick your favorite child, all of whom are Robert Mitchum.
8. Ale Asylum Bedlam! IPA (7.25% ABV)
Located right here in Madison and nowhere else (though they’re expanding soon, so that may change), Ale Asylum combines solid brewing with the charm of hilariously bad artwork. The brewpub is punk-rock chic, with awesome thin crust pizzas; the chorizo/black bean/garlic/red pepper is my favorite. Their Ambergeddon is a local staple, but Bedlam! is the best: a strong India Pale Ale brewed with juicy hops and a Belgian yeast strain, it was the first AA beer I every tried, and the one that sold me on the brewery. Being an artisanal creation has its drawbacks — this year’s batch isn’t quite as good — but even a mediocre Bedlam knocks most other IPAs out of the park.
7. Goose Island King Henry (13.4% ABV)
Craft beer nerds can be vicious, and no more so than on a big release day. It’s like the Cornucopia scene in “The Hunger Games”: everyone rushes the display, and a blood orgy ensues. Don’t ask me how I snagged a bottle of this, but it was worth the life I took (with a brick). This sucker started off as an English-style barleywine, but became a completely different animal once Goose Island aged it on 23-year-old Pappy Van Winkle bourbon barrels. Tons of whiskey and toffee dominate it, with a warming, dark fruit finish. I shared this one with three guys, and I still got lightheaded, though that might be because we drank it right after…
6. Three Floyds Behemoth (12% ABV)
Three Floyds makes literally no beer that isn’t incredible. Many of their beers are standout examples of the respective style: Dreadnaught (imperial IPA), Alpha Klaus (porter), Brian Boru (Irish red ale), Moloko (milk stout) and others. There is a debate currently raging among people who have nothing better to do, regarding whether to differentiate between traditional barleywines and their more hop-forward varieties. Behemoth is at the forefront of the argument, and with good reason. The taste is pungent, with tongue-prickling citrus, pine and juniper-like astringency. Drink it fresh and don’t chill it (I’m looking at you, Johnson Public House).
5. Two Brothers Bare Tree Weiss Wine (11.2% ABV)
Buying beers like this is an act of faith, as the complicated brewing process — a German hefeweizen spiked with Scottish ale yeast, brewed with equal measures of wheat and barley, then oak-aged for a year — inspires both intrigue and apprehension. Dogfish Head’s “Ancient Ales” series is the most prominent example, with the most spectrum-shifting results: Theobroma is weird and decent, Ta Henket makes me sad. Two Brothers, though, nailed it. Immensely drinkable for the strength, this crazy mother is rife with vanilla, apricot and white pepper. Sometimes, gambles pay off.
4. Central Waters Bourbon Barrel Stout (9.5% ABV)
Most people don’t even know that Amherst, Wisconsin, is an actual place, so the fact that Central Waters Brewery is gaining so much traction around the region bodes well for its future. They make two other solid high-gravity stouts — Satin Solstice and Peruvian Morning — but this is the rarest, and by far the best. With prominent but not overpowering bourbon notes, vanilla beans and a slight roasted character, this perfectly complemented the fondue I had at Brasserie V, though I can’t imagine many things this beer wouldn’t complement.
3. Upright Fantasia (5.5% ABV)
I’ll just come right out and say it: This is one of the five best beers I’ve ever had. Not just rare beers, not just fruit/sour beers, but one of the best beers ever. The brewery doesn’t even advertise this on their website, I assume because they’re afraid of ruling the world. I smelled this beer for a full five minutes before even tasting it, and took another five to finish a three-ounce sample. I didn’t want it to end. It’s just peach, peach and more peach, with a lip-puckering, vinegary sourness to cut through the sweet. Absolute perfection, and I’ll probably never find it again.
2. Great Dane Black Earth Porter (6% ABV)
Again, let me be frank: Great Dane, a restaurant and brewpub with multiple locations throughout Madison, does not generally make very good beer. Their triple and IPA are passable, while their smoked helles and pale ales downright suck. Somehow, against all odds, Black Earth is one of the best porters I’ve ever tasted. There’s nothing complicated about it: deep, prominent chocolate and iced coffee flavors, with pronounced burnt malts and enough sweetness to mellow it out. In other words, exactly what a porter should be. As if that weren’t enough, they always serve it on nitro tap (think Guinness), so it has a silky smooth texture. I could drink this all night. I have, actually.
1. New Glarus Wisconsin Belgian Red (4% ABV)
When I said “no particular order,” I meant it. Except for this one. This is the best beer New Glarus makes, which is kind of like saying “these are the best splits that Jean-Claude Van Damme ever did.” Door County, Wisconsin, grows the best cherries in the country, and New Glarus dumps a lot of them into this beer — over a pound per bottle, in fact. Like Fantasia above, this one isn’t complicated — just cherry, cherry, cherry, and holy crap more cherry — with the body of a sparkling wine. Which is appropriate, because they package it in champagne bottles. I can get it anytime I want, and you guys can’t.
Still, I do miss Terrapin.
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